Apple Customer Service and Drowning Children

Apple has the best customer support ever. My iPhone got submerged yesterday, yet I still get a free replacement despite their policies.

Here’s why:

So yesterday, Jennifer and I decide that we want to eat our Chinese takeout outside. So we go to a park that doesn’t have picnic tables, so we go out onto what we call “the ugly pond” because there are wide benches, and we can make a nice place for ourselves despite the water being opaque and too viscous to still be water. We eat our dinner, and we notice a group of kids come and play on the dock. We talk and chat with them and each other, and then we decide to head back to her apartment. When we stand up, we hear a splash. We think the kids have thrown a rock in the pond, but no. It turns out that a toddler, three to four years old at most, has fallen in the water. It takes about 10 seconds before we realize that the kid didn’t purposefully jump in and that there are no parents or other adults in sight. We hear gurgles and the poor kid starts to go under, so what do I do? I rip off my shoes and as much stuff out of my pockets as I can in about two seconds, and I jump in, fully-clothed, and save the kid from drowning. By the time I get him out of the water, there are people around who then herd the kid back to find his parents wherever they may be. I have to get help out of the water, and I then check my entirely soaked self. My iPhone was in the cargo pocket of my pants. Crap. It won’t turn on. Double crap. But I saved a kid from drowning; that’s well worth the price of an iPhone.

Fast forward to today, and Jennifer calls Apple after my iPhone has dried and still won’t come on. We find out they have a “no water damage replacement” policy. But she tells the tech guy our story, and he forwards her to his supervisor. After telling the story again, Jennifer is given a case number with an exception to the policy to give to the Apple Store Genius Bar this weekend that will get me a replacement iPhone. So yeah, Apple customer service rocks. They are so getting my business for as long as I can buy new technologies.

By B.J. Keeton

B.J. KEETON is a writer, teacher, and runner. When he isn't trying to think of a way to trick Fox into putting Firefly back on the air, he is either writing science fiction, watching an obscene amount of genre television, or looking for new ways to integrate fitness into his geektastic lifestyle. He is also the author of BIRTHRIGHT and co-author of NIMBUS. Both books are available for Amazon Kindle.